Footie Funnies....

The following answers were given by football managers to the question...

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Arsene Wenger

"From my position in the dug-out I did not see the incident clearly...so I cannot really comment. However, I do think that he gets pecked on by opposition players and fans who are clearly chickenophobic."

David O'Leary

"To be fair, he's just a baby chicken really - and crossing the road is just a big exciting adventure for him. He'll enjoy the experience as long as it lasts and learn from it - but I don't seriously expect him to cross it this season."

Sir Alex Ferguson

"As far as I'm concerned he crossed the road at least a minute early according to my watch."

George Graham

"I want good, solid team chickens who'll cross the road in a straight line when they're told and how they're told. There's no room at this club for a prima donna chicken running around aimlessly - he's not worth it!"

Gianluca Vialli

"When the fish are down, he'll just be one of the chaps. It doesn't matter to me whether he's an Italian, French or English chicken as long as he's willing to die on the pitch for Chelsea."

Glen Hoddle

"The chicken was hit by the lorry when crossing the road - because in a previous life it had been a bad chicken."

"Big" Ron Atkinson

"Spotter's badge, Clive. For me, Chicko's popped up at the back stick, little eyebrows, and gone bang! And I'll tell you what - I've got a sneaking feeling that this road's here to be crossed."

Ruud Gullit

John Gregory

"Two months ago that chicken was saying  how happy he was here. Now he tells me he wants to cross the road. I feel like shooting him."

Kevin Keegan

"OK, so the chicken's dead; but I still think - "Hey! he can go all the way to the other side of the road".

- Pete